wah... i miss blogging.. this past few weeks is a living hell.. i had lotz and lotz of school works..projects,reports,term papers,programming assignments..have i mention school work? nyehehe..pathetic me..and talking of school work (again!) i still have a PPT presentation to do for our case analysis in management and still have to edit the written report..gosh..i wanna die..(di jowk!).. though i'm in deep sh*t now..dying is not an option..right?! even though life is cruel and unfair i'm still thankful to God for giving me the chance to live..
about the sh*t im in..well, its not just merely school work.. (that's too shallow).. more like an emotional turmoil..i don't have problems and i thought life is a bore.. so i created my own problems and i tend to exaggerate things so that life will be more exciting .. i used to joke this to my friend..
"how much is life? and where can i buy that? coz i badly need a life" .. i realized that what i said was exactly for me...that was before.. coz now i finally got a life..but its not what i wanted..some people are lucky to have the life they wanted..(i envy those people)
they said you create your own destiny...what if your stuck with things you don't want..and you have no choice but to do the things that you hate! (am i making sense here?! )..
i turned into a rebel ( i never thought that this side of me existed..).. i guess if people around you try to manipulate and control your life the way they wanted..you turned into one...
*i contradict all the right advices my parents are giving me..
*i neglect my studies but not to the extent that i don't attend my classes.. i still do.. i even made school works..*for the sake of passing*..but i don't study..i'm lucky i passed my subjects with flying colors..( with grades that were just right for my performance) EXCEPT one..and i guess i have no hope on that one..if i fail that subj. it will be the first time in my entire life.. i'm not used to this.. i bet my parents will be disappointed (if ever they will know) coz i used to give 100% of my time to my studies.. that was before i realized that life is not evolving around the four walls of the classroom.. i want to enjoy my life while im still young..so i did it..
but where did it lead me?.. i lose my focus.. or maybe i just did not do it right..whatever! i don't know what to say anymore...i feel numb..right now my life has no direction.. i have to find the way before its too late...
0 comments:
Post a Comment