always there in you

[mood | excited]

[music | always there in you by the valli girls]

Always There In You
by The Valli Girls



baby girl, close your eyes
you don't know the strength you have inside
if i could i'd shelter you from all the pain that we all must go through
but it's up to you
the road is long, it twists and turns
but everything in life you live and learn
no one ever said that life was easy or that all in love is fair
but look inside your heart, you'll find the answer waiting there


if you ever lose your way
you don't have to be afraid
look inside to find a friend who'll be with you 'till the end
many different roads to choose
you're searching for the strength to make it through
but it was always there in you

hopes can fail and dreams can fade
rain can fall down on your big parade
maybe love will take your heart or break your heart
there are no guarantees
but love will always find you when you just believe


the strength you're longing to find
you know it's true
it was there all the time
every little stand stronger, work harder, reach for the sky
i know you will eventually fly


it was always there
it was always there
it was always there in you

OST of Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants..showing na jd xa finally...*smiles* i've been waiting for this movie since august pa...i'm gonna watch it this sunday with the girls! ^_^ (hopefully matuloy) dapat lng jd..coz this bonding has been scheduled weeks earlier so no excuse!...hehe..demanding..

i've read a few reviews and the feedbacks were good...sana hndi ako madisappoint..anyway i really want to write more but i have a loong quiz later...chp 2 pa lng ko! waahh.. bahala na c jordan! hehe..

~o~~o~~o~~o~~o~~o~~o~~o~~o~~o~~o~~o~~o~




Based on Ann Brashares' best-selling novel about a special summer in the lives of four lifelong friends separated for the first time. On a shopping trip, the young women find a pair of thrift-shop jeans that fits each of them perfectly and they decide to use these pants as a way of keeping in touch over the months ahead, each one wearing the jeans for a week to see what luck they bring her before sending them on to the next. Though miles apart, the four friends still experience life, love and loss together in a summer they'll never forget.

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Touch and Go

[mood ]

[music name by goo goo dolls]




Touch and Go
Contributed by s_w_a_y (Edited by amplifier)
Sunday, August 28, 2005 @ 12:00:34 AM

There truly comes a time in a person's life when you realize that life is indeed just touch and go. We try to look back at the things that happened in our past and reminisce the intricate web of relationships we've had with people. Then in the middle of daydreaming, we would stop and ask ourselves, "Where are they now?" It's funny when you think about it, that at one point in your life you have been really close with a person you always thought you knew very well inside out. The next thing you know, you don't even have the slightest clue on what's going on with that person anymore...or if they even think of you still. Funny... yes...funny but sad at the same time.

It's a fact that no man is an island. People are social beings and they need to interact with others in order to survive. I am a person;therefore I am a social being...and actually a very good one at that.

I used to be a social butterfly. I loved being with people. I loved making friends. And most of all, I love getting into different sorts of relationships, touching lives and being touched by them in the process. Yes, I was socially inclined...and I still am, but now just in a downgraded fashion. I suddenly found myself, turning down invitations to gimmicks or parties, whereas I used to be always game... the pasimuno (starter)...the hostess. I guess as time passes by, it seems to get harder and harder to involve yourself with just anybody, may it be a new acquaintance, a new friend, or a new love interest. I guess experience teaches you that. But some people just never learn.

Well... I learned my lesson.

I started learning at the tender age of five. While all the other kids my age don't even care about anything else but playtime, that young I was forced to grow up immaturely... learning the painful way that not all people are to be trusted. They may seem good to you and you may think they know better, but I realized that that doesn't really matter. Because when you know better, consequently, you know worse. And people can take advantage of the better to do the worse. With that known, I never trusted anybody but myself. So much so that when I interact with people, I always have my guard up, thinking at the back of my head that they always have a hidden agenda in mind.

True enough, I guess people always have had hidden agendas when dealing with others. Maybe they just don't realize it, or maybe they just do it subconsciously. And I admit I am like that too. But as I grew, I learned that not all these hidden agendas are bad. They can work to your benefit, and that usually happens both ways. That's how relationships should work, right? Sadly though, they almost always never work that way. And if that's not bad enough, they end up in a mess.

Yes, the end is always inevitable. That's also one thing I learned, and I'm pretty sure everyone knows this too. Yet we still continue to start new relationships that we know will have their finales, one way or another. It's one of those never-ending cycles of life that we have to learn how to deal with. Like I said, people are social beings. Relationships are essential to one's survival.

So how does one deal with the end of a relationship? It's quite simple actually. You just have to go on living your life like you've always had before you entered it. Anyway, you have survived all these years prior to it, right? It's just that simple! But in reality, it's always easier said than done.

Once I was in this relationship, which I knew could never be, thinking that if I knew what's going to happen, I'd already know what to do. So when the time for closure comes, it would be a lot easier to deal with because I am prepared. Well, it ended all right, as expected. But what I didn't expect was what happened in between, and the sadness that comes after it. Oh, and don’t forget the memories...those d*mn beautiful memories, so overwhelming, it haunted me every second of every day...for a while that is. After some time, I guess you could say I was back to normal. But for me, everything else became different then.

My friends seem to think that I always get myself into ungodly situations that most people in their right minds would actually tend to avoid. That is just so typical. But you see, I'm not your typical kind of person. But like all the others who have survived the end of a relationship, I too have moved on. Right now I am in this so-called relationship, which is yet again one of those kinds that most people would never really understand nor make sense of. But all I can say is I've never been happier.

They say time heals all wounds. I say that's nothing but hypocritical bull' that we just say to ourselves to create this illusion that we've moved on with our lives and that we're better off now than before. But if you think about it, when you remember old times, it brings back the pain and the sadness that you once had, especially for those people who like to cling to the past. Then comes the what-ifs and what-could've-beens, which makes you hope that you can bring back the past, or makes you wish that you shouldn't have let it happen in the first place. Ah yes. Regrets. Now that's adding salt to the wound. It is for this reason that people are afraid to enter a relationship again. For the most part, it is because it's something that they are always afraid to lose. I should know 'cause I was that kind of person... I was such a sentimental fool.

Time heals all wounds. I used to believe in that too. But as I continue learning, I finally believed otherwise. Time can only make you wiser...not to mention older (and I hated that fact). It's like the scab that protects the wound as it heals. But once scratched off, the wound bleeds again, and the cut grows even deeper. If anything, I believe it is love. Yes LOVE, not time, which heals all wounds. If you believe that you have the capacity to love again (and I'm not just speaking of romantic love), that's the only time you'll know you're completely healed. When you learn the value of true love, you will never be afraid to touch more lives and you can go on living amidst the scars that you've gotten from your past. When that happens, and you try to reminisce those intricate relationships you've had with people, you'd just find it all as funny...and that's all there is to it.

Life they say is touch and go. In life, we'll always be in and out of relationships with people...people who could be there for only some time... some of them might stray... but most of them will eventually go away. But remember this: Only those people who truly love you who will always try to find ways to stay.


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freak out

[mood | ]

[music | f_r_e_a_k o_u_t ]

Freak Out
by Avril Lavigne


Try to tell me what I shouldn't do
You should know by now,
I won't listen to you
Walk around with my hands up in the air
Cause I don't care

Cause I'm alright, I'm fine
Just freak out, let it go

I'm gonna live my life
I can't ever run and hide
I won't compromise
Cause I'll never know
I'm gonna close my eyes
I can't watch the time go by
I won't keep it inside
Freak out, let it go
Just freak out, let it go

You don't always have to do everything right
Stand up for yourself
And put up a fight
Walk around with your hands up in the air
Like you don't care

Cause I'm alright, I'm fine
Just freak out, let it go

On my own
Let it go
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Just let me live my life
I can't ever run and hide
I won't compromise
Cause I'll never know
I'm gonna close my eyes
I can't watch the time go by
I won't keep it inside
Freak out, let it go

Gonna freak out, let it go
Gonna freak out, let it go Continue reading...

maybe it's possible

[mood| sleepy]

[music wake me up when sept ends by greenday]

~o~
life is full of surprises.. me and my friends talked to someone who we thought we hated..but after all we've concluded that it was really ok..like the old days..if i'm gonna sum up all the things that person did to us..i can honestly say that the good rule over the bad...maybe we were just clouded with confusions and disappointments before that's why we were not able to see his/her side of the story..we lay our judgements without fair trial..i bet he/she misses us..haha! (kapal!) i hope this is a good start to rekindle friendship..*smiles*


~o~
i watched sky high with mario,alain,kuja,thyron, dirk and wilson..biologically i'm the only rose among the thorns..but thnx to kuja i wasn't left out...the movie was ok..(kids will love it! ehehe)..we went to sonic boom after and for the first time i wasn't bored..usually when my friends hangout there..i would just sit on those long benches and wait for them..i don't have a thing for those stuffs at the arcade and the noise irritates me..but today was an exception...i had fun on that basketball-shooting-range (ngbuhat2x lng kog name for that machine! lols)

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something to live by

[mood | ]

[music | I Don't Wanna Be by Gavin DeGraw]

"if you don't want the person you've become , then change it"


-peyton sawyer from one tree hill-

Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up:
These are the best days of our lives.
The only thing that matters is just following your heart
and eventually you'll finally get it right.

-in this diary by the atari's--


I think there's something more, life's worth living for
Who knows what could happen.
Do what you do, just keep on laughing
One thing's true, there's always a brand new day
I'm gonna live today like it's my last day

-who knows by avril lavigne-

the road is long, it twists and turns
but everything in life you live and learn
no one ever said that life was easy or that all in love is fair
but look inside your heart, you'll find the answer waiting there

hopes can fail and dreams can fade
rain can fall down on your big parade
maybe love will take your heart or break your heart
there are no guarantees
but love will always find you when you just believe

the strength you're longing to find
you know it's true
it was there all the time
every little stand stronger, work harder, reach for the sky
i know you will eventually fly

-always there in you by valli girls-

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes 'til I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

-breakaway by kelly clarksons-

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the courage to change

[mood | ]

[music | knockin' on heaven's door by avril lavigne]

i realize that i've been neglecting the person who was always been there for me..i'm too preoccupied and busy with my own little life for the past few months and i didn't noticed that on the process i lost him..we should have taken this journey together but i left him behind...there's no excuse on that part..things went differently for the two of us and we just drifted apart..i could drag him in if i want to but when i enter the crowd of the unknown..i was lost..things got out of control..instead of taking the courage to get back..i just leave things the way they were..

i feel so guilty..if i just have the strength to make a change then things won't end up this way..i wish i could turn back time and be the person that i should have been in the first place...but there's no room for regrets now.. all i have is the chance to make it up to you..

i'm sorry...

for everything......

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overdue updates

[mood naughty/bitchy ]

[music dare you to move by switchfoot]

i should be sleeping now..but i think i owe this blog some updates...so where did i left off??...ah..exams..i'm glad its over..it went well.. (or so i think..hehe!) ooppss! except for philo..i'm not really sure if my answers on the three essays were correct..actually i no longer expect that it will turned out something closely related to the word CORRECT.. i never studied ok! i read the articles a few hours before the test coz i've been burning my ass off studying Cisco the night before..things were amazingly cool during PM exam while philo and theo goes way opposite.." What goes around, comes around..What goes up, must come down " ..i smell karma in the air!

no worries for now..at least..but this relief won't last long..finals is fast approaching and this only implies one thing...FINAL PROJECT..i should have start learning Php or My SQL by now or for starters configure my pc..but things got in the way..and upto now i've never done any of the things i've mentioned.. pathetic.. so, my being a procastinator is up again..i thought i've seen that coming..whatever!

a lot of things happened lately...as much as i want to blurt it out here..i can't.. some things are better left untold..right?? so i guess they'll be hanging out in my draft as long as forever..unless somebody hacked my account..that is.. again here goes my list of noted events..my apologies.. i've been a lazy blogger lately..hehe..thus explains this loooongg post..

dengue false alarm
(august 23, 2005)

-High fever
-Severe headache
-Retro-orbital (behind the eye) pain
-Severe joint and muscle pain
-Nausea and vomiting
-Rashes

would you panic if you have four out of the six symptoms..? hehe.. well, i did..i'm used to having fever every now and then so i wasn't alarmed at first..but when i was preparing for school tiny red rashes were all over my arm then after a few minutes it was all over my body..i have headache and i was vomiting endlessly..i feel like all the food i've eaten for the past days were all coming out..i was dizzy..thats not the end of it..my asthma completed the list to make me feel worst than i already am..i had no idea that what i'm having are all symptoms of dengue not unless my sister play nurse on me..she was talking all "medical" and acted more of a doctor than a nurse..or vice versa..whatever! she search for dengue symptoms in the net..then we found out that i have four out of the six..that convinced me to go and ask professional assistance..

as much as possible if i can bear it..i won't go to a doctor..i hate hospitals, bloods..the smell of medicines..and most of all injections! errr...eversince i was a kid i'm not a fan of it! i don't know where the fear originated..all i can remember is that everytime i went to a hospital i end up crying..so enough of it! i'll move on..the doctor check my platelet and he said that it was low..i was oblige to drink all 5 medicines he indicated in the list and go back the next day to monitor my platelet..when i got home my mom called and she said that maybe i have german measles again..i used to have that when i was in gradeschool..due to the change of weather..so, now i believe that mothers knows best! for it was really german measles..when i went to the doctor the next day my platelet was back to normal..=)

vanesa's birthday bash
(august 31, 2005)

thea and i were thinking of giving vanesa a little surprise so we agreed not no greet her on her birthday and pretend that we didn't remember it at all..at the end of the day we'll go her class and walk in..but unfortunately thea run in with her at the corridor..she was left with no choice but to greet her..and that ruins the plan..nevertheless i'm still on with it..coz i haven't greet her yet..so me and mario went out to buy flowers and gave it to her before her class starts..hehe..it's her special day and she deserves to be treated special..*wink*

ahm...so because our schedule won't meet on the date of her birthday (that would be thur) vanesa moved the celebration on saturday..and just when i thought of the place...haha..i forgot the name..bsta something P..along roxas avenue..paternos or pateros..whatever that is.. she was expecting 15 people..but only 8 people arrived..and guess what?? we're all girls..hehe..that doesn't surprise me..if chelsea, april and dece were there the gang could have been completed..i feel sorry for them..they missed all the fun..i say ! to hell with school!! have some fun sometimes..a little booze plus a little dancing..that's we need to balance life..hehe! great thing..anyway..the food was really superb..thinking of the carbonara now makes my stomach growl..our diet (as if we have one! toinks) was thrown aside coz we have to finish all the food meant for 15 people..i haven't seen these gals for quite some time and we had a lot of catching ups to do..

• kakai broke up with her boyfriend..we didn't have the chance to be alone so i was not able to really talked to her or maybe at least make her feel better..=( anyway she's looking good..pretty as usual..she said that she'd been pampering herself after the breakup..to show the guy some glimpse of what he'd lost! serves him right!

• thea finally went to a doctor to have a check-up on her abnormal menstrual cycle..(by the way we've been convincing her to do this thing since high school pa)..and so findings are..she has more male hormones than that of the female..that explains her loud voice, the structure of her bones and her irregular menstruation..i don't know how was that possible..i've never heard any case similar to this..we were even teasing her na bka "tibo" cya..hehe..i bet she was extremely annoyed by that..but of course we're just joking around she's way too femenine to be a lesbo..bka "babaeng bakla" pwede pa..lols!

• rarai made a statement that joel and her had no chance of getting back together..poor joel..

we can't get enough of the chismax..but we don't have all the time so we leave the place and went to Halo..the night was young and we're totally ready to paint the town red..the next thing was dancing and drinking..dance..drink..dance..drink..i had so much fun..for the first time i didn't dread the taste of red horse..my friends don't have to force me on drinking coz i manage to do it myself.. i have a new discovery..red horse actually taste good if there are a lot of ice in it..hehe..

i wish the clock won't hit 12 midnight coz that sounds like curfew for me..(cinderilla ang drama..hehe) end of story! around 12:30 i went home..i'm left with no choice..either that or i'm grounded... i had fun and that's enough i guess..

my worth as a friend
(september 3, 2005)

i did a favor for a friend and it feels great..on the process i was able to bond with him..we talked a lot of stuffs..love,life,friendship..shared some secrets and all.. it was fun..i've always been comfortable around him..he shares his problems with me..and i try to help him out (if i can) and he also do the same to me..he's more like a brother..

ahmm..so now i'm gonna say something for those people who think or like to think that we're an item.. WE ARE NOT..ok! we're simply friends..so stop teasing us..i'm not happy about the idea because it makes me uncomfortable..though i'm not taking it seriously still it affects me..little things like this can ruin friendship you know..it's so childish really..i've had the same experienced before that's why i'm a little sensitive with this issue.. with that other friend it didn't turned out well..i want to redeem the friendship and just be normal again but i can't..things have change and trust has been broken..i hope it won't happen to us..we are destined to stay friends forever and i mean it!

tep2x's birthday celeb
(september 10, 2005)

we had dinner at Harana..(IT3 peeps)..after eating we had a little conference..exclusive for girls..hehe..sorry boys! we talked a lot of things..opened up some issues and chismax! we learned a lot from each other..we even extend the conversation at mae ann's house..hehehe..but as promised all conversations are ought to be kept for ourselves! so that's all i'm gonna say...

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